WEEK 3 Matchup Previews
First and foremost, I want to apologize for not creating a Matchup Preview last week. I was unexpectedly, and quite frankly inexcusably, given something to do Thursday as I planned to create more masterpieces. Anyways, I’m here to provide some insight on the week’s matchups and make fun of Feifer for a little bit.
Birney’s Fists of Fury vs. Brendan’s Jersey Boyz
Lukas is leading the pack as the surprise fantasy player through the first 2 weeks and this week takes on last year’s Regular Season champion, Kevin, in this matchup of 2-0s. The winner of this is guaranteed, well, nothing, because this is fantasy football and being 3-0 does not prevent your star Runningback from tearing his ACL by tripping over the chains (too soon?). But a 3-0 start is a good foundation at solidifying a playoff spot and taking a run at the Championship.
Lukas has a pretty glaring advantage at QB with Drew Brees over Sam Bradford. Not to say that Bradford isn’t a good QB, but with basically no running game, a banged up WR corps and what I imagine will be an angry Baltimore team, the Ravens D could make it a long day for the ol’ Boomer Sooner. On the flip side, Kevin has a slight advantage at RB. With Arian Foster still out, Ben Tate gets the start against the Saints and Peterson is a beast so he’ll most likely find a way to find pay dirt at least once, unless of course the Lions are really this good and put 8 in the box to contain AP. James Starks doesn’t have a good matchup against Chicago and Peyton Hillis could find some goal line scores.
It’s a pretty good WR matchup, but Lukas has the edge here with Andre Johnson, Kenny Britt against a crap Denver team, and Steve Smith against a crap Jaguar team. If Dez Bryant is healthy he can put up some points and Reggie Wayne seems to always be good, regardless if Peyton or Kerry Collins is throwing it. Jermichael Finley is also basically a WR.
If this game is within 30-40 points after the day games, Kevin’s Pittsburgh Defense may swing this game because we may have a bloodbath in Indianapolis Sunday night. They could put the number of points that Dez needs in striking distance of a win. Unfortunately for the Commissioner, I think Birney’s Fists of Fury take this one as Gus Johnson screams “The slipper still fits… AHAAAHHH”.
The Lone Guido vs. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
This is a big game for Matt as he looks to avoid falling to 0-3 and having a considerable hole to climb out of in the playoff race. The QB matchup is very good in this one with Philip Rivers and Matt Schaub squaring off. I’d give the edge to Matt with Rivers taking on a completely decimated Kansas City team. Expect Rivers to hook up with Jackson early and often. The only saving grace for Nick in this one might be the fact that San Diego will probably run the ball for 2 and a half quarters after they go up by 30 points in the 2nd. Unfortunately for him, Rivers and Jackson will probably already have done their damage. That could bode well for Dwayne Bowe since KC will need to throw the ball all day, but the Chiefs have shown zero offensive fire power this year and it could be time for Nick to cut Bowe so that one of us can pick him up for 3 weeks when he’ll score 10 TDs. Then he’ll suck again.
Shady McCoy is Nick’s ace, but Fred Jackson and LaGarette Blount have favorable matchups and may outweigh McCoy and the Law Firm, since Tom Brady doesn’t like handing the ball off at all. Nick is going to need Hakeem Nicks and Anquan Boldin to have big games because expect a big game out of Matt’s TE Gronkowski because Aaron Hernandez is out.
I think Matt picks up his first win of the season. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
The Jonathan Moxon’s vs. Sunday’s Best
The defending champion was able to pull an escape act last week and win as Michael Vick and Malcolm Floyd both went down with injuries. Superhuman Tom Brady is putting up unbelievable point totals and they may continue this week against the Bills. Luckily for Powers, he has a QB that is firing on all cylinders and may be able to keep the QB points comparison close and let the rest of his team fight for the win.
Jimmy is seriously hurting at RB with McFadden as his only real option and he has to run against the Jets. He’ll get some yards and maybe a score or two, but not enough to carry the load for a limited Arian Foster or his goal line thief Michael Bush. Newly acquired Michael Turner (Jamaal’s replacement) is lined up for a big game against Tampa Bay and Mike has actual options at RB unlike Jimmy. Powers has the edge at WR too with Brandon Lloyd returning, Jordy Nelson, and Mike Williams (not the sucky one). Jimmy has Donald Driver 6 years too late, Plaxico Burress 1 bullet too late, and has all his eggs in the basket for Henderson to catch 1 bomb a game for a TD.
Tom Brady scores 40 points and accounts for 75% of Jimmy’s points. Jonathan Moxon’s win handedly.
Pat Nolan’s Ghost vs. BEER TOWERS and TD SHOWERS
Another one of the teams looking to avoid a 0-3 start, Hurst is looking for “the steal of the draft”, Chris Johnson to have his first game that doesn’t suck ass. If Johnson plays like the old CJ2K, he and Jahvid Best can put up a game to rival Beanie Wells and Cedric Benson. Hurst basically has a 3rd runningback in Dexter McCluster playing WR, but I’m not sure how he’s going to be used in the new KC offense, which has been abysmal.
The WR matchup is pretty even with Roddy White and Santonio Holmes taking on Calvin Johnson and Brandon Marshall. It remains to be seen how Lance Moore is going to be this season, but I imagine it’s going to be a crap shoot as it always is with the Saints WRs. Greg Olsen has the ability to have a big game for the upstart Panthers.
Expect this to be a close game, but I give Pat Nolan’s Ghost the win.
Franzini’s Groomsmen vs. Anthony Gavin’s Shoe Collection
In the history of Fantasy Football, I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a tie, but if there were ever a time that I wanted to see one, it’s between these two teams. And if they tie, I think that should be an automatic loss for both teams (someone add that to the league rules). In this matchup we have the two time champ, three time finalist, two time regular season champ, twenty three time faggot vs. the 6 AM text message smack talker.
The QB edge in this one goes to Big Brendan, I mean Big Ben, since Tony Romo is playing with cracked ribs. I don’t see him making it through the whole game and that could mean trouble for Johnny Boy. The Runningback matchup is favored slightly towards Feif because John is starting either Daniel Thomas or Willis McGahee. Both would need to find the endzone to put up the kind of points that Ray Rice and Matt Forte can put up. All 6 WRs can put up points based on their style of offense and the matchups that they are facing. Fred Davis has been a beast for the Skins and Jason Witten has always been a beast, so this may be a very close game.
As much as I hate to say it, I think Crumb wins. Franzini’s Groomsmen.
(That’s an AHHHH! Real Monsters reference)
The Husky Tunas vs. The Nine Ninjas
I have not been happy with the performance of the Tunas over the past two weeks. Last week looked like it was going to be a win and then Vick’s Right Tackle decided to blow it for me (And cost me and Mike $200). Anyways, definitely didn’t think that Cam Newton vs. Michael Vick would be a fair matchup, but unfortunately it is. As long as Vick isn’t banged up, this can be a high scoring QB battle with Vick taking on a banged up Gmen squad and $Cam Newton taking on the lowly Jaguars. I don’t know how long Newton is going to keep this up, but I don’t think the ride is over yet.
A pretty even RB battle is on the docket as MJD and Ryan Mathews take on Ahmad Bradshaw and Tim Hightower. All should have pretty solid days. Wes Welker has the ability to put up 25 points because Tom Brady throws 70 times a game and we all know about D-Jax ability for big plays. Vick will need to get the ball to Maclin to keep Jackson’s numbers down. Larry Fitz should feast off of the Seahawks and AJ Green has shown why he was the first WR taken in the draft this year. I’d also like to thank Jimmy for trading me Nasty Nate Burleson. He looks good. Tony Gonzalez looked as good last Sunday as he did 10 years ago.
This game is going to be close, but naturally I have to give myself the edge because I like myself too much. Husky Tunas move to 1-2.
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