Week 1 Previews

WEEK 1 Matchup Previews

Gentlemen and Feifer, Week 1 is finally upon us. No more wishing. No more waiting. No more sober Sundays. This is what we live for (that sounds pathetic, but nevertheless seems accurate). This is going to be a weekly breakdown of the Matchups and I’m going to give my two-cents and a little prediction on the outcome. I also wanted to add that this year’s week 1 projections are so inflated it’s not even funny. No one is going to have less than 120 points? Really?

Since it is week 1 and we have no way of changing the schedule, Week 1 and Week 2 matchups get played twice a year. This means that this is the first of 2 rivalry games and a chance to separate yourself from the pack early. So without further ado, Fantasy Football WEEK 1 Previews:

 Birney’s Fists of Fury vs. Pat Nolan’s Ghost

This is the first game in the league for the Expansion team from Highwater Ave. Historically this would be an excellent matchup for Timmy, seeing as Lukas has been at the bottom for quite some time. But this is fantasy football and each year is a brand new season, so look for Lukas to try and make an early attempt at getting out of the cellar.

The “Bowl Bowl” kicks off tonight as the QBs for these two teams faceoff in Brees (BFF) and Rodgers (PNG). Whoever can stake themselves to a lead after tonight will be feeling a bit more comfortable going into Sunday, especially since the RB and WR cores are very evenly matched. BFF wants DeAngelo Williams to bounce back from an injury and Peyton Hillis to have another charmed season, better hope that Madden Curse ended. PNG is hoping Frank Gore can stay healthy and gash the Seattle defense and that Beanie Wells has a big year after a disappointing 2010 campaign. Each team has a stud WR named Johnson, a big play #2 WR in Kenny Britt and Brandon Marshall, and then a potential breakout WR in Mario Manningham and Greg Little. PNG had the early edge with Dallas Clark at TE, but with Peyton Manning out, it remains to be seen how good Clark can be without his QB. Each team’s Defense has a chance to hurt the opposing team’s Offensive players, and vice versa. If the Packers come out and stifle Brees, expect a big lead for Timmy. But if Brees and the Saints get rolling, expect Lukas to have the early advantage. The Texans defense was anything but good last year, but a matchup against the Manning-less Colts might yield a big day for Lukas.

I see Timmy starting his campaign with a win. Pat Nolan’s Ghost

The Lone Guido vs. Anthony Gavin’s Shoe Collection

There is no way to describe the lifestyles and teams of Nick and John in any other way than opposite.

Nick seems to be gallivanting around the country, flying to Chicago and then flying to Houston, who knows where he’s going to end up. Just like Nick, his team heavily relies on the going to the air. Schaub can go off at any point in time and has the ability to post up stupid numbers. Shady McCoy is probably going to have around 80 catches to go with his 20 carries a game. Nick’s has a fully loaded WR/TE corps in Hakeem Nicks, Anquan Boldin, Dwayne Bowe (pending Matt Cassel isn’t having another appendectomy or kidney removed or whatever is wrong with the guy), and Antonio Gates. Nicks team has the ability to post up some big points total, just like last year. The only thing that is going to slow his WRs down is a QB problem.

When I think of Massapequa, I think of John. He’s a fixture here in this town and always seems to be “staying local”, frequenting the Good Life and Johnny McGorey’s. I’m actually pretty sure John will be reading this in McGorey’s because I think he gets on the train every day and gets off at Jamaica, only to get back on the train and take it to McGoo’s. Anyways, like John, his team likes to keep it on the ground and pound away. Michael Turner and Rashard Mendenhall are two very good RBs, but they don’t contribute too much to the passing game, so John needs to hope that they get their fair share of goal line carries to cancel out their lack of production in the passing game. Other than Miles Austin, John is relying on scrappy WRs like Steve Breaston and Jordy Nelson to step up and make plays. Jason Witten will get his, but if the Cowboys lay an egg, it’s over.

Nick’s aerial assault is too much for John. The Lone Guido.

The Jonathan Moxon’s vs. BEER TOWERS and TD SHOWERS

The Battle for the Long Beach Couch is set up to be a high scoring affair that should be very close.

The Jonathan Moxon’s hand the keys to the car (that is inevitably driving to Long Beach) to Matt Stafford, who if healthy, is poised for a monster year. BEER TOWERS are relying on proven Matt Ryan to get the ball to Roddy White for a couple of Double Point TDs. Jamaal Charles and Chris Johnson are two of the fastest RBs in the league, so watching these two track stars battle it out should be fun. The second running back on each team have shown the promise that leads the writers in Fantasy Football circles to say this is going to be a big year for Felix Jones and Jahvid Best.

This matchup has 6 very good WR, all of whom are #1 options on their teams. The only one I’m shaky on is Mike Thomas, only because of the last minute release of David Garrard. Thomas still has the potential to put up a big game, so there’s not too much concern there. The Tight Ends are evenly matched as well, so prepare for a dandy.

This was probably the hardest of the games to call, so I flipped a coin on it. Mike continues to live on the couch as CJ2K doesn’t impress and uses this game as a preseason warm up. Jonathan Moxon’s

Brendan’s Jersey Boyz vs. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

I can sense that Matt is going to bring his “A” game because he was not happy when the Commissioner released the Intel that Matt would be selecting Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson in rounds 1 and 2. I’m still not sure why he told the person he was playing Week 1 this info, but he did.

Matt definitely has the edge at QB with Philip Rivers over Josh Freeman/Sam Bradford, but the work horses in Kevin’s stable are a bit stronger. Adrian Peterson is a bull and is hard to stop and Steven Jackson finally has a team around him that might make him better than ever. LaGarrette Blount had an awesome rookie campaign and he hopes to repeat that performance. Fred Jackson was solid for Buffalo, so he may be able to run for a big day against a shaky KC Defense.

Kevin’s Dez Bryant has to make a trip to Revis Island for Kevin, but he’s a freak athlete so this is a matchup to keep an eye on. Hines Ward is currently slotted as Matt’s #3 and he definitely lost a step or two or three last year, so the jury is out on the Dancing with the Star’s Champ. Julio Jones could impress this season for Matt’s #2. Expect Reggie Wayne and Vincent Jackson to have big days, regardless of who is throwing. Both have good Tight Ends in Jermichael Finley and Owen Daniels, but I think Kevin has the edge at Defense with the Steelers over the Chargers.

I think the Commish pulls this one out on the back of his RBs. Brendan’s Jersey Boyz.

The Nine Ninjas vs. Sunday’s Best

Well the returning “Champion” is kicking off his Title Defense against Joey “Party Boy” Zorovich. There is definitely a little extra riding on the game known as “The Peyton Bowl”, as Joey scooped up Manning in the 2^nd round after a botched Autopick incorrectly took Arian Foster over Jimmy’s lover Peyton. Unfortunately Manning is pulling a Carson Palmer and is refusing to play for Joey and is faking a neck injury. Manning has not missed a game for Jimmy in almost 30 years, so naturally he is sitting out the game to avoid embarrassing his rightful owner, or he is just scared of Tom Brady kicking his ass again.

The scale is tipped even further in Jimmy’s favor thanks to Autopick selecting Arian Foster and Darren McFadden. If McFadden has half of the game he had against the Broncos in either game last year, this one will be a blow out. Ryan Mathews and a Garrard-less MJG need to step up to keep Joey in this game. Or Arian Foster will pull a hamstring and it’ll shift the power to Joey.

Each player has an Eagles playmaker in Jackson and Maclin, so it’s going to come down to who Michael Vick decides to hit in the Redzone. Joey can also get some help if Welker can be on the receiving end of Brady’s TD passes. Jimmy has Colston playing tonight, so if he has a big game, this is going to be an uphill climb for Joey.

If Foster stays healthy, Jimmy wins. If Jimmy had been present for Rounds 1 through 3, Joey wins. Sunday’s Best.

Groomsmen vs. Husky Tunas

The Iron Bowl. The Red River Shootout. The Battle for the Jeweled Shillelagh. The Battle for the LIRR Memorial Trophy. When you ask a football fan, these are just a few of the big games that they will say that they are looking forward to. The History. The Passion. The Rivalry. This year is no different.

The big story in this game is going to be how the matchups play out. Bulky Brendan has 3 players involved in a game that is usually dominated by defense. Brendan needs Big Ben to hook up with Mike Wallace for a couple of double TDs in order to make up for what has historically been a tough matchup for #2 overall pick Ray Rice. Last year, Ray Rice had 20 yards, 32 yards, and 32 yards rushing in 3 matchups against the Pittsburgh Steelers Defense. Not the kind of production you expect from your #1 back. If Brendan doesn’t have the kind of game that he wants out of these 3 players, expect his big mouth to be filled by his stinky foot.

On the other side of the field, there are some favorable matchups for the Tunas. Vick is playing in a dome, so he’s going to be even quicker and have more ability to make plays with his feet. As long as the Eagles line can keep him on his feet, he should have a big day. If he goes down, the Tunas will struggle mightily. Knowshon Moreno is the feature back in Denver and has a favorable matchup with the Raiders, as long as Fox follows his blue print in Carolina and feeds him. And “Nice Hands” Larry Fitz gets to test out his new toy in Kevin Kolb against the aforementioned cellar-dweller Carolina Panthers.

The rest of the players are up in the air on how they’re going to do. Expect some drama.

While Feif might have a more balanced team, I think that the matchups prove to be too much for the Groomsmen. Husky Tunas.