Freedom Friday

This Freedom Friday Anthem comes from Jordin Sparks. She belted out this beauty during Super Bowl XLII Pats vs Giants. We all know what happened in that game, so I'm not going to waste time writing about it.

I believe the true measure of a good national anthem is measured around the "rockets red glare" part of the anthem. If the singer nails that then you know he/she will have a good "home of the brave." It's safe to say Jordin hits the note at 1:03 like a true American.

Coffin Corner: 2010 Top 10 Fantasy Performances

In this edition of the Coffin Corner we are going to take a look at the biggest fantasy games by players who were in the starting lineup. Interestingly enough, only half of the teams won during weeks that they had a player make it on this list, solidifying the fact that Fantasy Football is a team game and cannot be won be a single player.  Take note Lebron.

10. Aaron Rodgers – Greg Jennings (Week 11) 38.14 Points and 36.7 Points

When your QB throws for 4 TDs and 301 yards and your WR catches 3 of those TDs and 153 yards, there’s a good chance you won your fantasy game. That’s exactly what happened here when the Packers decided to take a squirt all over the Metrodome and Robbie Wood’s Tapout Shirt in the process. Rodgers and Jennings were lethal for fantasy owners all year, so lethal that not even Darren Sharper, the hardest hitting safety in the league, could stop them when Jennings had a broken leg (I’m pretty sure that was real). These two might have a few more monster games when the lockout ends and football starts up again.

9. Tom Brady (Week 10) 38.3 Points

What Tom Brady did to the Pittsburgh Steelers’ defense this week at Heinz Field was scary. Brady threw for 350 yards and 3 TDs and also ran for a TD, but he made it look so damn easy. The Patriots were firing on all cylinders at this point and continued to roll all the way to the playoffs. Johnny Buck stuck with the scorching hot Brady all season long and, much like the Patriots was able to shake off a rocky start and had Tom Brady lead the way to the playoffs. Unfortunately for John and the Patriots, Brady was only able to take both of them as far as the playoffs before bowing out in the first game.

8. Michael Vick (Week 3) 38.64 Points

Michael Vick is the only person to be on this list more than one time and is actually on it 3 times. Although this is the first of Michael Vick’s three appearances on this list, but it might have been the most important of the three. Vick showed us early in the year that he was beginning to return to the player that he was before he went to prison. Vick had 4 TDs and about 300 yards in the air in this game and showed Powers that he had found his starting QB for the season, and it wasn’t Jay Cutler. And I’m sure Vick would like to say thank you to Kevin Kolb for banging his head and getting the concussion that allowed him to step back into the spotlight.

7. Peyton Hillis (Week 12) 40.4 Points

Peyton “The Great White Hope” Hillis had a few monster games and proved to be a big free agent pickup for Nick. Hillis had almost 200 all-purpose yards and 3 TDs in a game against the Panthers and showed us all that White Men Can Jump. This is probably the biggest fantasy game put up by somebody from the state of Ohio since Corey Dillon broke the single game rushing record back in the early 2000s. Unfortunately for Hillis and Nick, the Doors put up some big numbers this week and ended up spoiling the big day for the Browns back, but Hillis continued with a strong year and ended up as the 4^th ranked player in fantasy.

6. Ben Roethlisberger (Week 11) 40.5 Points

When the Oakland Raiders play the Pittsburgh Steelers at Heinz Field, only one thing is supposed to happen: the Steelers are supposed to beat the hell out of the Raiders. Well, Big Ben took notice and threw for nearly 300 yards and 3 TDs and also rushed for another score. This was the biggest game for a QB not named Michael Vick last year, but Lukas did not win this game, mainly because his 2 RBs and 2 of his WRs combined for 11 points. But for a few hours on that Sunday, the fantasy gods smiled upon Lukas and showed that he made a pretty good trade with Feifer to acquire Rapelisberger.

5. Dwayne Bowe (Week 12) 41.5 Points

What’s that saying? One person’s trash is another person’s treasure? Well you can apply the season of Dwayne Bowe to that saying. Nick drafter Bowe and he was just HORRIBLE in the first half of the season, so he gives Bowe the Axe. Along comes Hurst and scoops up the struggling wide receiver and then BOOM! Bowe puts up 3 TDs and 210 yards to shove it in Nick’s face yet again. This game was the last of a 7 game touchdown streak where Bowe scored a total of 13 TDs. Hurst didn’t win the game, but Bowe looked like he was going to carry Hurst deep into the playoffs. Unfortunately the Fire Bowe and Arrow flickered out the next two weeks and put up 1 catch for 3 yards over those games, one of which was the first round of the playoffs. So I guess one person’s trash is actually just another person’s trash as well.

4. Arian Foster (Week 1) 42.3 Points

I’m fairly certain that all of us getting our first taste of McCann’s Sunday had the same thought during this Texans game: Who the hell is this guy making the Colts defense look like a high school team? It was the undrafted (I’m talking fantasy draft) Arian Foster. The fantasy events surrounding the injury of Ben Tate and the subsequent emergence of Arian Foster will always leave us wondering how Foster ended up on Kevin’s team, but he had the balls to start a guy that we knew virtually nothing about week 1 and it ended up paying big dividends for Kevin (a couple hundred for a first place regular season to be exact). Foster had his biggest game of the season week 1 and just continued to put up awesome numbers on his way to being the #1 player in fantasy in 2010.

3. Michael Vick (Week 15) 44.68 Points

This is the second of three of Michael Vick’s monster performances (we all know which one is left) and this game might sit a little too fresh in the minds of his owner. Fantasy Semi-Finals are a time when you need your players to step up if you want a shot at the Championship Belt and Vick answered the call for Powers in this game against cross-town rival Feifer. Unfortunately for Powers, Vick was playing against his beloved Giants and he was at the game to witness the events. I’m sure it was fine at first, since the Giants had a HUGE lead and Mike probably said something to Hurst along the lines of “Alright, now let’s just let Vick throw a couple of TDs to Jackson so I can come back in Fantasy, since this game is well in hand.” The famous last words (that I just made up) probably haunt Mike to this day. Not only was Vick’s 44.68 Points not enough to push Powers into the finals, but on the very last play he got to watch DeSean Jackson burst up the middle on a Punt Return and destroy the Giants Playoff chances along with his already destroyed Fantasy Championship dreams.

2. Javid Best (Week 2) 45.7 Points

Javid Best was a fun player to watch in college and the Detroit Lions looked like they struck gold when Best had 232 all-purpose yards and 3 TDs in a shootout with the Eagles. Best was explosive in this game and it looked like Joey had found the Rookie running back who was going to have the biggest year, but unfortunately for Joey, Best ended up turning out like all Detroit running backs and only found the end zone once more the rest of the season. Another negative for Joey was that the rest of his team didn’t pull their weight, so Best’s best (see what I did there) game of the year was a waste and the Lyrical Geniuses lost that week.

1. Michael Vick (Week 10) 57.32 Points

There are a few events that take place in a lifetime that people always remember where they were when it happened, such as when JFK was assassinated,  when Michael Jackson died, and when David Tyree made “The Catch”. Add Michael Vick’s week 10 performance against the Redskins to that list. I was in my den flipping to the game at each commercial of the Rangers/Penguins game only to see what seemed like 14 more points for the Eagles each time I turned it back on. I can only imagine what it must have been like to watch this game with Powers and/or Lukas. It seemed as if every single Fantasy player who owned Vick was down by at least 40 points going into this game, and Mike was closer to 50 if I recall correctly. When DeSean Jackson and Vick hooked up for an 80 yard TD to start the game, I’m sure Lukas got a knot in his stomach, but still had confidence that he could hold on for the win. About 15 minutes later, it was obvious that Michael Vick was about to do something that we had not seen in years. He turned in what may have been the greatest Fantasy Performance that I can ever remember; reminding us that he is still the Most Electrifying Player in the NFL.

Notification For Waitresses

Just want to let any waitress reading this know that I eat wings on Sundays. So don't ask me for a menu, just bring the wings out after everyone else has ordered.

Don't put that boneless stuff on my plate either. That's just disrespectful.

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BREAKING NEWS REPORT

Adam Schefter, John Clayton, and Barbra Walters are all reporting a leak that Mr. Zorovich has been in contact with Adrian Peterson's agents regarding a contract extension for the upcoming fantasy year. Will be interesting to see how this will impact the rest of the draft. More news to follow

Which NFL Team Are You?

1. Kevin– New England Patriots

a. Kevin is the model of consistency, but that is not where the comparisons to the Pats end. While he seemingly never has a down year, Kevin always manages to sneak in and nab the player off the trash-pile who ends up leading him to victory (see Arian Foster). Even if his practices stir up a little controversy, Kevin is not questioned because of his past success.

2. Tim– Seahawks

a. I understand that nobody wants to be the Seahawks, but hear me out (they did make the playoffs last year). Timmy is a newcomer to the league, but not to the game. He dominated McCann’s Sunday last year like Pete Carroll dominated freshman pussy at USC before transitioning to the big leagues. Timmy seeks to make this transition from dominating the d-league that is every other Fantasy Football league in Amurica to making an impact where it really matters.

3. Chris G – New York Jets

a. Gill exudes the Jets in every possible way. There is not one person more fitting to any team than Gill to the Jets. Gill’s trash-talking, in-your-face style is one that would even make Sexy Rexy himself jealous. Gill’s tuna-can and wild sexual adventures make Rex’s foot-fetish look like the missionary position. Furthermore, his Brian Shottenheimer-like approach is trying to over-complicate even our simplest of Fantasy Drafts. Gill has had some recent success that has provided his loyal fan-base with hope for his future, but they are skeptical to fully jump on his bandwagon as past failures still resonate in the fans’ minds. Gill would make a wall along the sideline, tell you all your players are injured, or force you to watch a poop game, because of his any-means-necessary will for a victory. Simply put: Gill Bleeds Green and White.

4. Jimmy – Colts

a. The Colts have the model to 12 wins and a playoff appearance: Pick Peyton Manning and let him do the rest. Jimmy has the model to 12 wins and a playoff appearance: Pick Peyton Manning and let him do the rest. Jimmy brings the same presence and intimidation that Jim Caldwell brings to every game: None. He then puts the ball in Peyton’s hand and wins the championship. Well played, sir.

5. Lukas – Raiders

a. Enamored by speed, size, and over-the-hill superstars, Lukas and Al Davis make all the right picks. Every once in a while, these two can hit on a pick that they made while delusional (Lukas is probably drunk, Al Davis is just dying), but their teams still suck. For every one late-round homerun, there are six early-round busts. Al Davis is always quick to justify his actions (usually with the use of an overhead projector), and Lukas seems to always like his shitty team. Both Lukas and the Raiders need to take the power out of the delusional decision-makers’ hands and insert a football mind into that front office.

6. Nick – Ravens

a. Nick is a stalwart in the top of the league. His consistent drafts and solid pick-ups make him the Ozzie Newsome of the league. Nick may have some trouble adjusting to a new city, but he can follow the blueprint of a team that moved, and moved back, and stayed successful. Look for another strong showing from another strong franchise.

7. Joey Z – Miami Dolphins

a. Joey is a middle-of-the-pack kinda guy, whose love for the Florida lifestyle might outweigh his love for the league. If Joey finds himself in a winning environment (New York) he can see some success this year. If he chooses to gallivant with the Williams Sisters and J-Lo, he will be as successful as Chad Henne and Pat White.

8. Matt  – Pittsburg Steelers

a. Because of the Steelers, you now have to give everyone a chance to be your next head coach (Rooney Rule). Because of Terrono, you have to give everyone a chance to pick up the hottest free agent. Like the Steelers as of late, Matt seems to be favoring the high-powered passing approach. Let’s see if Matt can rebound from having a down year, like the Steelers did the year they drafted Big Ben.

9. Chris H – Tampa Bay Buccaneers

a. When everything is clicking, the Bucs are good. When it is not, they are bad. The same can be said about Hurst. A season where he finished fifth has the insiders suggesting that Hurst is a young team poised to make the step to the next level. Also, Pirates sail the ocean, Hurst lives in Long Beach. It’s just obvious.

10. Mike – Philadelphia Eagles

a. Mike and the Eagles decided to take a chance on signing Michael Vick. All it did was bring both teams to the playoffs. Mike spent weeks dangling Percy Harvin over everyone, much like the Eagles are doing with Kevin Kolb. Lastly, as with the Eagles, Mike is a legitimate threat to win it all this year.

11. Feifer  – Tennessee Titans

a. The obvious reason is because both have monitored Chris Johnson all offseason, just praying that football would start before he got arrested. My personal reason stems from an incident in which Titans owner, Bud Addams, was seen giving the finger to unruly fans. What other owner would be seen in his skybox going nuts, flipping the double-bird, but Feifer.

12. John – Dallas Cowboys

a. Both John and Jerry are controversial, yet they stay pretty consistent. Both have enjoyed past success, and both should be successful in the future. Both are old; Jerry Jones for real and John at heart. John’s love of beer-league sports and fear of technology help him get propelled towards an AARP membership, and the lifestyle of Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones clearly loves technology (his video board that can be seen from space) so something else had to be factored in to make John the Cowboys: Rob Ryan. Rob is ready to be brash and entertaining in his first year in Dallas, and John is sure to be the same.